


Guilt

by RazzleyD



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Established Relationship, Heavy Angst, M/M, Nightmares, unintentional murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-06 06:46:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10328390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RazzleyD/pseuds/RazzleyD
Summary: Ray has never killed anyone before. He hates the very thought of taking another life. But this...





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sorry and incredibly sorry at the same time.

“He’s too fast!” Sara growled, standing up from her place in the mud, using her spear to balance herself. Mick roared as he ran towards where Eobard was possibly going to be, his gun blazing.

 

“Mick, wait, you can’t just--!” Sara yelled after him, watching as Ray went in after him.

 

“I’ve fought his kind before! Just let me do this!” He said loudly, his gaze trailing to where Ray stood behind the speedster’s path. “Outta my way, Haircut!”

 

“You’re all weak!” He laughed, his body short-stopping between Mick and Ray. 

 

“I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed!” Ray shouted, his hand coming up to blast the speedster with his suit.

 

Just then, Eobard used his speed to bring Mick around to his front, causing the energy blast from Ray’s suit to go straight into Mick’s chest. Ray felt all of the air leave his lungs as he watched his partner shout in pain and convulse as the energy shot through him.

 

“How unfortunate… Like I said. Weak.” The speedster scoffed as he dropped Mick like dead weight and sped off. There was no noise. Ray wanted to scream, cry, anything, but when he opened his mouth, it only felt dry and scratchy.

 

“M-Mick…?” He whispered, the rest of the team looking around at each other. He took off his helmet and threw it to the ground before falling to his knees to prop his boyfriend up. “I… I’m…” He checked frantically at each of the spots he knew he’d feel a pulse, but he already knew it was too late. He pulled his partner’s dead body against him, holding him tight as tears started falling freely down his face. 

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-- Mick-- I’m sorry.” Ray’s face turned red as it scrunched up and tensed with anger. “You didn’t deserve this. I’m sorry.” He started crying, his tears staining the blood-stained fabric of his partner’s shirt. “It wasn’t my fault… I love you… I never wanted to hurt you--”

 

“Raymond.” Sara said softly, lowering herself down to Ray’s level and holding his shoulder. 

 

“Ray… Mond? Sara, you almost never call me--” Just then, Ray opened his eyes and shot up from his horizontal position in the bed. It was just a dream… Ray started to cry happily as he made his way out of his room and down the hallway to Mick’s. He excitedly opened the door.

 

“Mick!--” Ray gasped before his expression fell. Mick’s room wasn’t kept in its original state after--

 

“Oh, yeah.” Ray felt more tears coming as he leaned against the door frame; but they weren’t happy. Mick’s room had been cleaned out, all of his important stuff had been taken back to Lisa in 2017, and was empty now. That was months ago…

 

Ray felt his fists clenching as he felt that anger tense in him again. This had been happening since Mick’s death. Ray would have a nightmare, and wake up and want to be with Mick; would want to be held by Mick. But the turnout was always the same. And yeah, there were nights where Ray would consider stealing the jumpship to go back and save him… But he just couldn’t. He knew he couldn’t. It would only end with more pain.

 

Ray walked back to his room, wiping the tears from his face. If Mick were here… He’d be telling him that it was gonna be okay, and to not let this guilt eat him alive… More along the lines of “suck it up, Haircut”… It wasn’t his fault. He re-entered his room and shut the door behind him. Maybe… One more time… He looked over at his dresser, to which he walked over to and leaned down to rummage through his bottom drawer. 

 

See, Mick didn’t have a lot of clothes, but he did have a few of the same jacket. Ray might’ve… “Borrowed” one every once in awhile. He’d taken the four from his room after his passing. Even after the wash, it still smelled like him: warm, smokey, and metallic. It was his favorite scent, and it always calmed him down.

 

He pulled the collar up to his face as he closed his eyes. He breathed in heavily, letting the scent of his late partner hug him tightly. He whispered an apology into the jacket. He took it over to his bed, slipping it on before climbing back under the covers.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact: I cried twice while writing this!  
> Thank ya for readin' <3


End file.
